My fiancé Chris and I got into a rather silly argument recently that I’m just going to blame on pre-wedding stress.
Honestly, I don’t even remember how it started. The upside is that we both soon realized how ridiculous we were acting and were able to laugh about it once we cooled off. Here are a few argument infractions that I committed last night. Don’t be like me. Or if you are, don’t forget to have a sense of humor about it all.
1. Don’t refer to your guy by his full name. When I hear my first, middle and last name all together, it reminds me of getting in trouble as a kiddo. But when communicating with your guy, especially during arguments, you should be treating him as an equal, not scolding him like a parent would. The exception of course, is if you do this normally.
2. Don’t discount his feelings. I’m fairly guilty of this one. I’ll say things like “Are you joking?” way more than necessary. You don’t have to agree with what he says but completely dismissing another person’s feelings — even in the heat of battle — is simply not productive.
3. Don’t stomp around, slam doors or take your aggression out on innocent household objects. I admit, I slammed a door during our latest tiff. And I felt like a total heel afterwards. I even started giggling at how silly it was. These sorts of things don’t get your point across — they only make you look like a jerk.
4. Don’t feign detachment. When we’re frustrated, it’s easy to say things like, “Do whatever you want, I don’t care!” But the truth is you do care. Sure, relationships have their highs and lows but even at the lowest points, you still care about your guy.
5. Don’t make it into one-upmanship. He’s got a lot of his plate and you do too. But, it’s beyond pointless to out-complain each other. Acknowledge his stress and don’t be surprised if he returns the favor.
All of these fall under the umbrella of treating others like we’d like to be treated. I know, believe me I know, when things get heated during a lover’s spat, it’s easy to let passion take over. After all, in those situations, you’re a lover and a fighter. Hopefully you can patch things up quick and get to the best part about fighting: the making up.
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